Anemone

The smell...
It pulled me in,
I fell.
Lika a fish,
Let me swim,
Be my anemone.
They will say,
"His love stung"
They didn't know,
I was made for you.
Just a little longer...
While I memorize,
The smell.
And the way,
Your brain works..
The pitch of your,
Voice...
I can see me,
Protected by you!
.
.
.
.
.
And that kills me
Because,
You will never want me.
I wasn't made beautifully.....

Acid Beach

I can still remember the way the waves hushing soothed me to sleep. Never in a million years could you have come to me and said “One day you will be on a beach tripping balls” but, what is life if not a long list of things you never believed you would do. I recall every detail: the soft almost cloud-like feeling of the sand underneath my body holding me, while the ocean’s song brought on slumber. Slowly the wooden walk that stretched above our heads turned soft and plush like leaving me no choice but to hold onto it. My friends passed a joint around but, I was too consumed with the smell of oak, sea water, and burning wood. Filling my lungs, the aromas made refuge in my bones calming even the deepest feelings of anxiety. Then she kissed me, her familiar scent snuggling up to my ribcage and reminding me why I ever agreed to this in the first place. I could have died on her lips leaving this earth the only way God ever intended so, happy you could piss yourself and it wouldn’t even matter. Her arms wrapped around me and it was as if an angel was caressing me. We were two grown women sitting in a bear hug on the sand at two AM but, none of that mattered because in addition to the ecstasy and acid in my system I was full of love that reverberated between us. 

Home

Over a hundred thousand miles away lies a large white home with boarded up windows and two broken front steps. Stuck in the middle of an almost desert-like wasteland it sits patiently. Hoping the next family to happen upon it will have the strength to fix its smashed windows, congested pipes, sieve-like ceilings, and spine-chilling garage. Believe it or not, a young spunky little eight-year-old called this monstrosity home for a long time. Making mud pies in its abandoned lot and playing on the dilapidated swing set that sat up against the whitish siding. Her parent's power washed the siding once thinking this dusty turd merely needed a new coat of paint or, in this case, to have its coat of paint cleaned and, it would transform into a gem. Unfortunate you can dip a piece of crap in chocolate but, that doesn’t make it a delicacy. Nightmares of horrifying branches grabbing at her in sleep made the years she stayed there restless. Moving away was an answered prayer but, to this day she thinks of its pastoral scene and wonders, what of its lonely heart?

5 Perspectives

Today we are speaking to a few shaken pedestrians after what seems to be a drunk driving accident.

At 4:29 am this morning we received news of strange driving on route 3 and here to tell us more is Taylor county’s very own Sheriff Sparks, Sheriff?

Sheriff: We had received a few disturbing calls from residents at around 4 am and we decided to send a dispatch unit out to go investigate. Unfortunately, when we got there several people were hurt in addition to a deceased driver in a white Ford Ultimo. After alerting the paramedics we went ahead and got a few testimonies. Several people described hearing loud noises at about 3:45 am and some people even said they thought it was drag racing from the squealing sound of the tires. From the tread marks, we saw upon arrival we have reason to believe it may have been a drunk driving accident where the intoxicated driver swerved out of the way to prevent from hitting something and crashed into the rail and while the seat belt kept the driver in his vehicle the force of the impact crushed his skull killing him on impact. Luckily the driver did not hurt anyone else there was a young teen we sent to the hospital to have checked out she was in the passenger seat and suffered minor injuries.

Thank you so much Sheriff Sparks and after this break Morning news at 9 will let you hear from first-hand testimonies, my name is Jerry Star and this is Morning News at 9!

(Commercial break)

Welcome back Taylor county and welcome to Morning News at 9 after a fatal drunk driving accident that killed the driver and injured a young teen we have news anchor Jerry Star at the scene to give us a first-hand testimony to the carnage, Jerry?

Hello Martha, many locals I have interviewed this morning say they could tell something was amiss when their usually quiet morning commutes and preparations for school were interrupted by loud tire screeching and soon after a loud crash. Here to talk to us about what she heard is Mrs. Dianne Smith who was getting ready to go to work before she heard the loud screeching and was the first to call the Taylor county dispatch.

Mrs. Smith: I was getting ready in my bathroom, it faces route 3, and while I was straitening my hair I heard some loud screeching I was already on my way to call the police when I heard screaming coming from the road, I told the police everything I saw while I looked out my bathroom window. I saw the car swerve to miss something in the road and it crashed into the railing, I heard the screaming when the car swerved but, after the car crashed the screaming stopped I expected the worst. I am glad no one else was hurt but it’s still very sad what happened to the driver.

Thank you for your testimony Mrs. Smith and up next to tell you the details of the crash our Morning News at 9 accident experts, back to you Martha.

Martha: Well here in the Morning News at 9 studio we have local crash expert Tom Robbins here to tells about the facts of the crash, now Tom I think the first question on everyone’s mind is what really happened?

Tom: Well, Martha I wasn’t there but, from a close examination of the crime scene photos it becomes clear there is no way this could have been a drunk driving accident. The tire marks in the road show a sudden stop indicating a five-second reaction time and there is no way someone who was inebriated could have stopped that quickly. In addition, we have a young teen's testimony that proves foul play.

Martha: Well that is certainly stressful news Tom but, Morning News at 9 will be right back to get you the details right after these messages from our sponsors.

And we are back Morning News at 9 has the latest on all local news. Before we left Tom, our crash expert said, the tire marks indicated drunk driving is not a possibility and that the teen found at the scene has given a testimony has revealed foul play. Here to give you the details is our field reporter Jerry Star who is at Glory’s Pass Hospital to talk to this young teen, Jerry?

Jerry: Thank you, Martha, here at Glory’s Pass Hospital is a young teen who suffered a major spine injury. Upon arrival at the scene of the crime the teen looked to be fine merely scraped up and scared but, after admitting her to the emergency room the head surgeon says, she is lucky to be alive. Unfortunately, we have just received word that the family does not wish for their daughter’s testimony to be aired so this is where the story ends, until next time Taylor county this is Jerry Star your eyes and ears for all local news!

A young woman who looks to be about twenty-five or so comes into the young teen’s room. The teen’s condition is critical while, she is still conscious and able to communicate her body remains immobile from the neck down.

Detective Banks: Hello, my name is detective Banks we were sent from the Taylor county deputies office to get your testimony and we have your parents’ consent and whenever you are ready I would like to hear your statement.

The young teen lets tears roll down her face.

Debra Cohen: (Through tears) I need to speak to my lawyer, please.

The detective looks back at the teen who has yet to make eye contact with a worried expression.

Detective Banks: Of course, I will have the nurse bring you a phone.

After the detective leaves, a few minutes’ pass and a plump usually cheerful nurse, now wearing a look of sadness places on the tray table next to the teen.

Nurse Donald: I need to dial the number for you and I will put it on speaker and leave so, you can use the phone in private darling.

Debra Cohen: 980-0577

The nurse quickly punches the numbers into the phone hits the speaker phone and leaves the room. Nurse Donald then shoos away some lingering orderlies from the outside of the hallway. The phone rings two times before the other end picks up.

Luke Cohen: Hey, are you ok? I heard on the news that you are paralyzed, is that true? What happened Debra?

DC: Do have uncle John’s number?

LC: Of course,

DC: After I explain everything I need you to call him and tell him to come down to the hospital to help me talk to the detective. I don’t want you to call anyone else not even mom and dad. There in Copenhagen, so they're probably not watching the news. Call Aunt Jena and tell her to keep her mouth shut.

LC: I can do that. Please tell me what happened.

DC: I was at the train station this morning ready to leave to go back to UFCU and there was a man watching me, I didn’t think much of it because, ever since I got my boob job guys stare so, I just ignored him. He followed me into the ticket booth and I was about to turn around to ask him what his problem was when he grabbed me. He put a rag over my mouth and everything went dark, when I came to I was in a car going way to fast down route 3, he kept saying something repeatedly but, I don’t know what it was its like it was a different language. I couldn’t really hear anything very clearly but, I saw something in the road ahead and I screamed he looked back at the road swerved and hit the railing. His airbag didn’t open and his head smashed into the steering wheel. There was blood all over me and I couldn’t move I couldn’t feel anything, I still don’t feel anything.

LC: I am going to call John just hold tight ok?

DC: The nurses said there was a lot of blood in my pants. I think he may have-

LC: Let’s just call John and go from there ok, I will make sure he is quick. I love you, sis, I will call you when I know he is on his way. 

Debra looks up expecting the nurse to be at any moment and an orderly has come in she expected him to hang up the phone.

Orderly: Are you Debra Cohen?

DC: Yes.

The orderly pulls out a pistol with a silencer on it and quickly shoots her in the head. The orderly quickly pulls out a cell phone and hits speed dial.

Orderly: She’s dead.

Phone Voice: No loose ends Hank.

With that, the orderly hangs up the phone and quickly but, without arising suspicion goes out to his car parked in the east wing parking lot. He grabs the syringe out of his glove compartment and injects himself with a lethal dose of heroin.

Orderly: You’re going to be ok Rebecca, your safe now.

About thirty minutes’ pass and the orderly is dead and the entire hospital is on lockdown while police scan the entire perimeter looking for whoever shot Debra Cohen. No one is allowed to leave the hospital grounds until the perpetrator has been found.

Suicide

I laid face up vomit blocking my airway and my thoughts were consumed by the persistent rejection that wounded me. The doctor asked me, “Why did you try to kill yourself?” I was tired of answering this question, to be honest, there were lots of reasons but, none of them were the right ones. “Have you ever wondered why you want to be alive?” she looked back at me halfway smirking as if to say checkmate, “Of course, I remember all the people who love me and all the people who need me.” I smiled, “Consider yourself lucky some of us will never know how that feels.” She never came back to talk with me.

Death isn't painless

                 “Death isn’t painless”. Even as a ninety-one-year-old woman sits gently tapping on death’s gate no, there is surely an aching that slowly grows in intensity with every rapping. As her knuckles tenderly meet an ancient oak door grime darkens her hands. They said her sickness was childhood news sneering while they explained “Predispositions” to her family. As if an explanation was going to catch her daughter’s tears or read her great grandchildren to slumber. Her passing brought on a hopelessness that seemed to encompass all God's creatures. The birds sat in silence while the Texas sky scorched in defiance, refusing to cry the sun set them on fire. As the earth slowed her up the sun went down as if to admit defeat likewise, despondent footsteps slowly made their way to shelter. Hiding behind closed door they wept for her while in vain their tears persisted. The years showed no remorse mocking our fond recollections with untimely endings of others. It has been five years and the house she called a home is unrecognizable now her glass menagerie long since sold and packed away along with countless innocent memories. In its place stood granite countertops, a mounted flat screen, and the wall that once separated the entertaining room from the sitting room had vanished. Even though her mark was taken out of the house her essence remained resonating within us at night and reminding us that our happiness was only temporary and death would be for us soon.

Andy's Snow shovel

Harsh quick needles pricking your toes,
stamina in one arm, shovel in the other.
Invisible knives stabbing your nose,
"Come on munchkin, we can't leave this to mother."
Silent resilience resonating with me,
soft
sweet
soothing
'SCRAPE'
Looking up from under the heavy air,
dad hunched over moving the ground with care.
strong
sincere
solid
'SCRAPE'
He falters not trusting his legs to hold him,
underneath his feet the ground is thin.
stable
steadfast
sorry
'SCRAPE'
Persistent in his efforts to conquer the land,
while trusting hate will always loose to a loving hand.
spinning
suicidal
so sorry
'SCRAPE'
Blaming himself for the weather and it's chaos,
tunnel vision blinding, it will consume us.
screaming
staring
stuttering
-
-
-
-
The silence cut through the air suddenly aware I go to his aid,
falling down is hard but, dad taught me all scars heal and soon, even this will fade.

Prologue for a possible book?

I am thinking about writing a book. I was told this would be something people would read, what do you guys think?

A burgundy Louis V with long straps and gold accents. The contents ranged from tissues to contacts. Her keys, one for her car one for her house but, the rest was all charms and a big black pom pom. A bottle of perfume by Lady Gaga and black nail polish with a bottle of clear coat. Her Michael Korr wallet and ten dollars cash but, about five hundred in credit. A picture of us tucked where her ID should be and a squished coin from the time we went to Jersey together. A pack of mint bubblegum with only two pieces left. A package of unopened tissues and some dirty ones floating amongst the sea of girly things and loving memories.
I held the bag in my lap in the waiting room, softly praying to whatever high power to make sure she is ok. I could feel tears coming down my face but, I couldn't care less I just let them fall and keep coming. I remember when we first met, she was wearing a little black dress and studded black heels. I thought to myself, what a diva, she is way to dressed up for orientation. She came up to me and I could see her eyes a beautiful blue green galaxy where the stars were only the beginning of their beauty.
'Hi, my name is Chloe, what's yours?'
I could barely breathe, the smell of sandalwood and lilac intoxicating me.
'Eva'
She smiled at me and put her arm around me pulling me in close for a picture. I was startled, being so antisocial this was a very odd situation I was in. It turned out she was going to be my new roommate and I didn't even know it until the RA gave us two of the same keys.
'Eva?' I looked up from her bag and up at the doctor, he looked concerned and I mentally prepared for the worst.
'She is very lucky you found her. She is awake and asked to see you.'
I followed him down a long sickly clean hallway and around a corner to room 216. The curtains were pulled closed so, you couldn't see into the room and the lights were dimmed.
'You have thirty minutes then the psychiatric nurse on duty has to talk with her.'
I opened the door and looked at her lying there, she had dozed off waiting for me to come back. I was so happy to see her breathing but, I could feel the tears coming down with a new urgency. The machine monitoring her heart kept a beat and I tried to memorize it so, if she ever tried to kill herself again I could restart her heart.
She opened her eyes and looked up at me, she didn't speak she just silently stared at me. I ran up to her and placed a kiss on her forehead. She started to cry shaking and inhaling so fast it seemed as though she was choking. I kissed her, a deep kiss that we held for a long time. I hugged her and whispered in her ear,
'Don't ever leave me.' She hugged me back continuing to cry shaking while she held me.
'I love you so much, I am so sorry.'
I climbed into the bed with her and softly played with her hair. The doctor came in but, he never asked me to leave he just checked her vitals and left. I fell asleep with my nose in her hair, I could smell her even while I was dreaming.
Chloe wasn't like other girls like, a mirror image the same but, opposite. She looked like your typical mean girl with a bad attitude and too much money against all odds; she had a heart of gold and a loving soul.
My sight was hazy and there was a distant sound of singing entranced, I followed the sound through a sweet blue hued fog resting around my feet, it was her singing in the shower. Her voice soft and angelic while water cascaded down her body the steam enveloping her essence and, softly rolling towards me until the fog and steam came together and became inseparable. I felt warm and safe trusting the warm blue hues to shield me from any harshness and lull me to sleep-
"Haley please help me! I don't know what I did, I can't stop throwing up, my chest hurts so much! " The shower that once looked so peaceful suddenly grew saucer sized crimson orbs and white razor sharp teeth. The fog around me smelled foul and I started to choke all the while, she flailed and screamed thrashing about inside the monster's mouth begging me to help her. I left all my common sense behind and jumped inside the monster's mouth and all I could do when I got there was lovingly hold her head and softly stroke her hair. I rubbed her small soft hands talking sweetly to her like this was just another lunch date reassuring her how much I loved her and how silly people who wear sunglasses all the time look. I let out a spine tingling moan, trying to will this reality to not be real. She just lied there in my arms barely breathing and unresponsive while I begged the world to save her.
My whole world was up heaved, figuratively my body was ripped by the base from the earth like a weed leaving me in unbearable pain and confusion. Surreal. As if this was merely a fire drill and there was no way this was really happen.
I could hear it again, the harsh terrifying sound of the ambulance and the sudden bullet of silence that pierced my skull. Why was it so quiet? What is happening? Help her, oh god, please help her!
I shot up out of the hospital bed pouring sweat and surrounded by the deafening sound of silence and the soft pitter patter of goal oriented shoes. I use to remember what that felt like, fuck, I would kill for any sense of orientation right now goals or otherwise. I looked over to see her still sleeping soundly, no doubt medicated, she looked peaceful with her porcelain skin making small soft heaves as she breathed. I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and climbed out of the gurney debating whether or not I would call anyone to let them know I was in the seventh circle of hell or just accept the fact and watch my queen and I be swallowed up by the flames.

This is an original work please do not steal.